i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Plan B is the new Plan A
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
