just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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