I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
