so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
