it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
