White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize