Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I want her autograph on my taint
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
