maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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