just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
