my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize