Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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