how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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