idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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