Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
