Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
