You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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