I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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