Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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