fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
