I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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