it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Its about making memories worth repressing
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
