I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
