Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
