whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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