I skipped work to stalk him.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
