I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
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We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
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I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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