My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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