are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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