next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
