God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
