what day is it and did you see me today?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
