I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
