No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
