the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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