They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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