Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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