If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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