you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
