but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
