I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize