walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
