Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
