I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
