there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
