awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i would one night stand the shit outta him
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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