when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
