My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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