i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
