I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
