It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
