Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
