I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
