I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
