Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
