Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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