I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
