I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
