Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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