How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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