dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
