Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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