i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Success! We fucked roommates!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
