I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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