Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize