I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
